meaning of ...

I am wondering why am I crying?

what's the point of crying?

Do tears worth anything?

they worth nothing...

sometimes one sentence is enough to kill..

yes.. just one sentence.. a sentence that you said..

I have nothing to say about myself.. I am just that useless..

--

I am wondering why so many ppl wants to put their attention on me.. why do you all need to take note of what I am doing and all those other stuffs? I am like being treated like don't know criminal or what. Whatever I do, people just take notice of them? Why? Don't you think you all had put too much attention on me? I have never asked for them. really never once I want those attention. It is very tiring, very very very tiring.

I am already very tired of being FREDY CHIA.. why do I need to be restricted? Why am I always being the first one to get all the scoldings and blames and whatsoever?

Everyone thinks I have so much power.. so dominating.. such a tyrant.. but does everyone ever think how much restrictions I have and how much hard work I have put in? I guess none of you know.. all you see is just the results, the superficial side..

what else do you know? you all just enjoy the results but all the hardwork done in the background all don't know..

I am seriously very tired.. very very tired...

I don't want to whine but because of alot of these attentions.. I really cannot stand it.. I even need to report? I really can't stand it...

Can all of you just let me off for once? Can? Can I request for that? Even a day is enough.. really..

just give me a day to breathe...

---

tears don't worth a single cent..

tears are made up of something called water, emotions and heart.

heart? The heart to feel..

I am losing that..

a heartless person..

---

fredy's thoughts:
My own translation and this is just nice what I want to say and thinking.

With all my heart

鏡に映った　かけ違えたシャツのボタン
The reflection on the mirror shows my buttons are buttoned in the wrong button holes.

そんな些細な事で君がいれば良かったと思う
Even such trivial matters, it will remind me of you

逢えない時間が　僕らの愛を強くした
The time we can't be together, my love for you just get stronger

言葉に詰まるならそっと頬にkissをしよう
Whenever I am at loss for words, I will just kiss you lightly on the cheek

それぞれを待つ日々は　忙しく過ぎるけど
The days of waiting for each other passes by quickly

こんなにも こんなにもただ
simply so fast..

逢いたくて　ずっと君を思うよ… 心から君を
missing you, my thoughts are always about you... right from my heart

もう一度　my heart 伝えたくて
Once more my heart wants to convey

君が呼べば　僕は行くよ
If you call for me, I'll be there　

君のそばで笑いたいんだよ
I want to smile by your side


ふとした瞬間　傷ついてしまった心
In the moments when your heart is hurt

ひとりじゃ直せない痛み　僕が癒したいよ
The pain that unable to be healed alone, I will be there

今逢えない時なら　ただ君の面影を
In the time that we can't meet

抱きしめて　抱きしめてほら
I will just hold on, hold on to your image in my heart

どんな日も　ずっと君思うよ…心から君を
Anyday, I will just think of you... right from my heart

もう二度と your heart 離さないから
I will not let go of your heart again

君が泣けば　僕は行くよ
If you cry, I will be there

君をいつも守りたいんだよ
I want to always be by your side

君が望むなら　全てを尽くして
As long as it is your wish, I will do everything for it

君の描く未来　永遠の夢を叶えたい I wish
I wish to give you the future and dreams that you longed for

逢いたくて　ずっと君思うよ… 心から君を
I miss you, my thoughts are all about you... right from my heart

何度でも to heart 贈る　smile for you
No matter when, to heart, I will smile for you

悲しくても　嬉しくても
No matter sadness or happiness

君のそばで笑いたいんだよ
I want to smile by your side

With all my heart

Find me and I'll be there..