2010, 1st January

This is the first post on 1st January 2010!

I shouldn't make it too emo or whatsoever. I am just going to say something from my heart!!

I want to thank everyone for 2009. Everyone who has helped me or commented on me or put me down or scolded me or hated me... everyone everyone, thank you very much. All these have made grown that much throughout the whole year. I really learnt alot.

I am not god, I will not be perfect, I make mistake too. Thank you everyone for being so understanding (even if you are not) towards me.

I have nothing else to say except for "THANK YOU".

To all my friends, I am sorry, I have not been a good friend. I was always busy with my stuffs, teaching and others. I haven't been a good friend. I really have not been a good friend, so sorry. very sorry for that. Really thank you for all the understanding that you have for me. I maybe very stubborn or very demanding or whatsoever but thank you for being so understanding and being there for me. Really thank you!! If I happen to hurt you, make you cry. I am really really sorry. I really don't mean to hurt any of you. I am very sure of that. If I happen to make you smile any point of the time, I am really glad and happy to be able to do that. Once again, thank you very very much. I just don't know what to say beside saying thank you.

To someone (yes! you!), thank you for being there for me everytime. Really! Thank you for telling me so much about how you feel. You are really the best! I know you aren't so direct at all but I somehow forced it out and you are trying to be as direct as possible from then on. thank you for that change. Also, I would like to say sorry to you cause I know I am very FAN most of the time, I keep asking for re-assurance. Don't worry, I understand now and I won't be asking for so much re-assurance le. ^^. haha. Thank you for thinking and concern about me too. I really happy to know and feel that. Thank you for knowing me so well, although it is very scary that you know me so thoroughly but never mind cause you ought to!! haha. let me tell you! YOU ARE NOT the only one that is obsessed or whatsoever you call it. I am obsessed or whatsoever you call it too!! ^^ All I want is for you to be happy!

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For this 2010.

I really hope everyone, can be that understanding to me too. I know I am bound to make mistakes so when I make a mistake, please let me know and correct me, guide me along. I need everyone to tell me. really. So let me know.

To friends, I will definitely be very busy too for this year, maybe even busier than 2009. I really hope you all can REN with me. I will try my best to be around for major events like birthdays! Really, I do not wish to miss out any of your birthday celebration. I will try my very best and again I would like to ask for your understanding if I am unable to make it for any outings.

To someone (yesh! you again!!), since you said I think too much, I shall not think so much from now on. Also can you listen to me abit more too? please... haha.. just abit more. haha... Another thing will be.. BE HAPPY! I do not want to see you unhappy and I don't want that to happen! That's what you said too! So I am just fulfilling what you and I want to do.

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I guess that's all for 1st post of 2010!

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fredy's thoughts:

for someone:

I hate the way you talk to me
I hate the way you say yourself
I hate the way you look at me
I hate how I just listen to you
I hate how I just give in to you
I hate how you are always right in my mind
I hate it when you don't tell me the truth
I hate it when you make me upset
I hate it when you make me cry
I hate how you make me laugh
I hate how you make me feel happy
I hate how you say those words from the bottom of your heart
I hate it more when you don't reply
I hate it more when you don't call
I hate it more when you are not around
I hate myself for not caring, knowing you more
I hate myself for hating you
I hate myself for saying so much when I don't even hate you
I hate the way I said I hate you when in real fact not even a little bit, not even close to anything call "I hate you".

I just hate myself for not admitting I like everything you do. For now, I really hate myself.

*** this is really what I think! Not copy or what!