Tuesday, July 21, 2009

a total disappointment...

This is the place where I will wait everytime before my lesson starts. This was the sky I saw today. Nice isn't it? Clear blue sky.. really beautiful. I love this sky so much.

While waiting I took this picture of myself! haha. I look tired.. (T.T)

Am I sensitive or what? I just find that smile is so fake... or maybe I just don't have the mood?

Today's was a total disappointment for myself. I can only blame myself for not doing enough preparation. Allowing myself to be affected during then was my fault. There shoud be no excuses for this bad performance today.

I can't believe myself that I am actually so uptight and unfocus today. It was something I have not expected. I guess I have reached a point where I don't understand myself anymore. I am a big disappointment today.

I have promised myself to do well and make it perfect!

I stayed back and I realized something... I can't feel today.. the beat and everything... I'm like lost feeling.. I don't know how come I am like that... emotionless as if I am dead. It is scary if you sense it. I just can't understand why...

It's good that I stayed back and I got my inspiration... I would like to turn this inspiration into motivation. Something that I hope but whether it is possible, depends on me.

No matter what, I must work double or triple or 100x harder.
Perfect is the only thing I can strive for now..
At the same time I can bury myself in busy schedule and stop thinking and focus...
---
fredy's thought:
爆破して飛び散った 心の破片が

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